Recipes for Belonging

Theses

1. Isolation leads to suffering. Belonging leads to prosperity.

2. Many people suffer because they yearn to belong.

3. People who are lonely for long enough may find belonging in destructive communities.

4. The more people find healthy belonging, the less susceptible they are to indoctrination by destructive communities.

5. Helping people feel belonging is something most anyone can do most anywhere.

Theses for social change

1. Some of the most effective ways to reduce suffering start with us learning how to reduce it in ourselves.

2. A lot of people have a lot to un-learn from the culture they were raised in.

3. Simply being exposed to a handful of simple concepts could make a huge difference in someone's path.

4. Seemingly impossible challenges may be addressed by identifying clever ways to circumvent them.

5. Changing culture is difficult, but worth learning to master.

6. Teaching people how to communicate more effectively will reduce suffering.

7. Teaching people how to understand their emotions will reduce suffering.

8. Teaching people how to listen will reduce suffering.

9. Offering people meaningful ways to connect will reduce suffering.

Theses for facilitated connection

1. We can’t assume people know how to make friends.

2. Some of the most common social settings work well for certain kinds of more outgoing, but very poorly for others.

3. Facilitating meaningful connection between participants fosters belonging.

4. Many programs would benefit from the introduction of an element of facilitated connection between participants.

Open questions

• How to reach the people who most need it but might be least receptive?

• How to address economic and social inequality? How large a role does it play in this?

• How to address issues related to climate?

“You know, before Qanon no one has ever told me that I was intelligent, that my voice was important, or that my story mattered… and now I have friends all over the world that share my values and offer support. The greatest gift Q ever gave us was each other.”